Was talking to Shameless today, trying to squelch her urge to become Dem club vice president next year. As I said "The club could really use you, but the club would really USE you." And I mean use her dry. But I do understand the impulse. I want to be a superhero as well - save the club from itself, accomplish amazing goals in an election year. Shoot, I was thinking of my dream cast: Shameless as Prez, me as vice Prez, VF or EB as secretary, whichever of those two who weren't sec. as treasurer. I could dedicate my whole year to doing everything the club needs done.
Whoa, wait a minute. My whole year. My writing time, my family time, my free time dedicated to a job that isn't paid, isn't really respected doing things I don't enjoy and that aren't natural to me. And it would suck me dry. Being a super hero sucks. I certainly couldn't do graphic design for candidates and causes (which I do enjoy) because that would be favoritism and I just wouldn't have time anyway. What a resentful wretch I'd be by the end of the year. I'm resentful enough this year, with the MIL taking up just 4 months of our summer. Imagine a year of being sucked dry.
But boy that impulse remains. A title. People looking up to you. The chance to save the day. It seems like that would be more rewarding than it actually is. But I've realized that the most rewarding things in my life have never been the public things. This year I've had moments that mattered. B.s thankfulness when I took care of the furnace while he visited his parents. The communion of working side by side with my soulmate as we dealt with the issues surrounding his father's death. Being there with my mother every day as we went to the hospice to see Grandpa, being that shoulder to cry on and that person to talk things out with when he died. Being there for struggling friends, for hurting family members - I could not have had those precious moments if I'd been struggling to keep the Dems together. And those moments are the reason I don't consider this whole year a dead loss. Painful memories, but precious memories. No, let others be flagrant superheros, rushing to save the obvious from the idiots. I'll be the one in the background, quietly holding the ones I love together, just smiling when people ask why I'm not an officer since I don't have a job and must have plenty of time on my hands. I've got more important things to do, thanks.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
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1 comment:
Words of wisdom, Ipsissimus. You know me so well...
Love,
Shameless
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