Here is my Christmas gift.
I'd hinted and hinted to Mr. Ipsissimus that I'd love to have one. He didn't get the hint. After a conversation just a week before Christmas and less than a week before we were leaving for Mom's I realized it just wasn't happening. But, with the help of a good friend nudging him in the right direction (without whom he would not have done it, he admits), he managed to surprise me by sending it to my Mother's house and having her wrap it and put it to the back of the tree where I wouldn't notice it until Christmas day. I think he was pretty proud of himself. And he was happily taking over my 2nd generation Nano and making it his own last night.
My Uncle and his family came down for Christmas and when we were talking my aunt said proudly, parroting the TV ad, "I'm not wearing it - but he got it from Jared's."
I smiled sweetly and answered, "I'm not wearing it - but he got it from Apple."
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Merry Christmas
Well, the presents are wrapped, the car is loaded and the ingredients have been made into sweet treats. It must be time to go to the parents. We will leave early Saturday and my sister and her family will arrive late in the day. Then it is much ado and baking and seeing Santa at the mall until Christmas arrives. So here is where I wish everyone a very
Have a lovely time! We'll be back in town the day after Christmas.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
This is a watchful, waiting for the other shoe to drop, sort of year. It is difficult losing one or two people in a year, but losing four has us jumpy and worried. If the phone rings late in the evening, we look at each other. If Mom calls a second time in one day, I feel a tingle of fear before answering. My sister calls to get directions after I'd spoken to her earlier - and I see the number and feel dread. I've watched friends and family going through hell with their spouses and with each other and it adds to the sense of impermanence in my life. The one thing I did for myself this year, that I thought would bring convenience and joy to my life has become an unending nightmare of doctor's visits, headaches and reduced ability to enjoy the world around me.
My life is changing so much I don't know what to expect from month to month. I wonder what will be next - will we lose someone just as unexpected as my father-in-law and his sister were? Will it be the people I love or the pets I cherish? Will I ever again be able to do the work I love without headaches and terrible eyestrain? You really have no way of telling and it colors my Christmas in blues and purples instead of cheery reds and greens. I am going through the motions and it is not enjoyable - just survivable. I am still doing things for everyone else's convenience even though I am suffering with my own depression and pain and I wonder when it is that I'll start saying no and live my life for me. Perhaps that is a Christmas gift and New Year's resolution I need to give to myself.
My life is changing so much I don't know what to expect from month to month. I wonder what will be next - will we lose someone just as unexpected as my father-in-law and his sister were? Will it be the people I love or the pets I cherish? Will I ever again be able to do the work I love without headaches and terrible eyestrain? You really have no way of telling and it colors my Christmas in blues and purples instead of cheery reds and greens. I am going through the motions and it is not enjoyable - just survivable. I am still doing things for everyone else's convenience even though I am suffering with my own depression and pain and I wonder when it is that I'll start saying no and live my life for me. Perhaps that is a Christmas gift and New Year's resolution I need to give to myself.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
When did Christmas lose its fun? I used to enjoy it, finding the perfect gifts for people, decorating, picking out a tree and bringing it back to decorate. Now it is a shopping list of things I have to do, a two week period of enforced jolliness and trying to get along with people. Maybe if I had kids it would be different - I'd have someone who wanted the traditions, who dragged me along to everything they wanted to do rather than me dragging someone else along. It'll be nice to see the nieces when they come. My oldest niece is on edge of the believe in Santa era. If I lived closer to Mom, it might be a little different - I could go Christmas shopping with her and we could do trees at each others houses.
I guess it's just been a dismal year. I asked B. why it seemed everything had lost its fun and he didn't have an answer. Maybe next year will be brighter.
I guess it's just been a dismal year. I asked B. why it seemed everything had lost its fun and he didn't have an answer. Maybe next year will be brighter.
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