The call of new writing is irresistible. Wrote 2,500 words on Illuminators last night rather than editing Sand Sifters. Can't help it, it was more fun than trying to figure out how to bring Farrah and Kadar together in a smoother way. Though it was a scene later in the book than I am currently at. I usually don't let myself do that - I find I get less discouraged and have a smoother story if I go from beginning, through the dreaded and impossible middle, to the end without jumping around and writing scenes then piecing them together.
It amazes me how many people have tried writing novels. For that matter, the slush pile on publisher's desks is 9-12 months long of books that have been completed. It is very usual for someone to have a beginning and end, but not a middle - and those people are the ones that always want me to read their stuff. What is the point? Talk to me when you've finished the thing - most people never finish their first novel. Heck, one lady told me she wanted me to read her unfinished novel but would wait until I was done editing mine because "she didn't want to influence me." Kindness personified.
There is a difference in myself, and my writing since I've finished two novels. The first one was through Nanowrimo, so it was done at a hectic pace, and may be pulled apart someday and used as the basis for a longer (and better novel). The second was done more professionally, over 8 months. I can tell now, what ideas will make the cut, what ideas will only last a couple of chapters. I know how to get through middles by creating overarching plots. And I have the confidence to finish what I start without too much fuss or angst. A professional writer once told me "talk to me when you've written a novel from start to finish" and I understand now what she meant. The next step is "talk to me when you've edited and submitted your first novel." But that gives me confidence as well that once I've learned the process it will no longer feel like I'm climbing Everest without an oxygen bottle.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I'm back
Went to the parents to visit Grandma last Tuesday. Expected to be back Thursday - a quick trip. But Grandma's health is sliding and Mom asked me to go to the doctor with her and Dad because Dad is hard of hearing and often has problems listening to doctor instructions. So that was Friday, early morning. And Saturday I helped Dad write a dispute letter to the insurance company after they refused to pay $8,000 in bills. So I finally came back Sunday, and my schedule is all screwed up. I thought I'd write at Mom's at night, but had to keep getting up early, so my sleep pattern is all messed up. And today was a disaster. Just a disaster. Emotional overload from last week, a house that hadn't been taken care of while I was gone, missing bills and an unsupportive husband. In my world that's a chain reaction that leads to the atomic bomb explosion of rage. Luckily my anger burns hot, but quickly. It was gone by evening with just a dull headache remaining.
And now I read what Mr. Ipsissimus edited on Chapter 4 (I got Chapter 3 done before I left) and I'm feeling like he was a bit harsh at times. Feeling like my perky cheerleader turned into a stone-faced drill sergeant. Maybe this isn't a good night for book editing? Maybe this is a good night for new novel writing? I don't know - I'm in one of my discouraged phases. Guess I just need to jump in again with both feet and slog through it. I'm surprised (and touched) how many people have come out of the woodwork offering to help read and comment. Heck, I barely want to reread and comment on the novel and I wrote it. But the support does keep me slogging through this second draft so people can comment for the third draft. This should be a long, exciting summer!
And now I read what Mr. Ipsissimus edited on Chapter 4 (I got Chapter 3 done before I left) and I'm feeling like he was a bit harsh at times. Feeling like my perky cheerleader turned into a stone-faced drill sergeant. Maybe this isn't a good night for book editing? Maybe this is a good night for new novel writing? I don't know - I'm in one of my discouraged phases. Guess I just need to jump in again with both feet and slog through it. I'm surprised (and touched) how many people have come out of the woodwork offering to help read and comment. Heck, I barely want to reread and comment on the novel and I wrote it. But the support does keep me slogging through this second draft so people can comment for the third draft. This should be a long, exciting summer!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Chapter One complete
First rewriting of Chapter One complete. Started on Chapter 2. Just 18 chapters to go...ugh. Ah, well, as Annie Lamott says, bird by bird - just take it bird by bird.
Also started a new design for a crazy candidate, that I kinda like. Ran out of ink before I could print it to see if it looks okay printed as it does on screen. Been resisting doing it - in spite of the fantastic design package I got for my B-Day (thank-you A. and J.!). Got to use Illustrator for the first time in ten years - my how that program has evolved! Hardly even knew where to start. I know what the program can do, but I no longer know how to make it do it. But I've become rather fixated on the rewrite and don't want to be bothered by anything else. Which is good, I suppose.
Also started on the Claritin as I was getting the wheezes from tree pollen and I hate feeling like I'm suffocating. Feel lucky I don't have really bad asthma like my sister does. Thought it would make my dry eye even worse, but my eyes were so sticky and irritated from allergies that it made them feel better! Just never know until you try.
Well, this was a quick break - on to Chapter 2 where my M.C.'s love interest appears. This was a total shock to me when I first wrote it - my M.C. was not going to have a lover. But Ashraf just appeared in the crowd and took over the scene and became an important part of the book. It's those unplanned moments where your unconscious mind takes over an creates things out of your unacknowledged psyche that make writing a novel so cool. And so puzzling.
Also started a new design for a crazy candidate, that I kinda like. Ran out of ink before I could print it to see if it looks okay printed as it does on screen. Been resisting doing it - in spite of the fantastic design package I got for my B-Day (thank-you A. and J.!). Got to use Illustrator for the first time in ten years - my how that program has evolved! Hardly even knew where to start. I know what the program can do, but I no longer know how to make it do it. But I've become rather fixated on the rewrite and don't want to be bothered by anything else. Which is good, I suppose.
Also started on the Claritin as I was getting the wheezes from tree pollen and I hate feeling like I'm suffocating. Feel lucky I don't have really bad asthma like my sister does. Thought it would make my dry eye even worse, but my eyes were so sticky and irritated from allergies that it made them feel better! Just never know until you try.
Well, this was a quick break - on to Chapter 2 where my M.C.'s love interest appears. This was a total shock to me when I first wrote it - my M.C. was not going to have a lover. But Ashraf just appeared in the crowd and took over the scene and became an important part of the book. It's those unplanned moments where your unconscious mind takes over an creates things out of your unacknowledged psyche that make writing a novel so cool. And so puzzling.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Back three steps, forward two
Chapter 1 is on the chopping block. Ruthlessly cut about 2,000 words of set-up at the beginning, then added about 1,500 in the middle and various places. Can't quite grasp how the catapult my MC out of the family surroundings and to her destiny - right now it feels too abrupt. Don't want to add a chapter, though, because the real story is at the Temple. Have to sleep on it I think. The benadryl is fogging my brain (though it is clearing my lungs).
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Looking up
Doing much better mood wise. I think switching to nights for now is a good thing. Finished the prologue last night, did 2,900 words (10 pages) on a different project tonight, and my mood has been amazingly better the past couple days. Allergies have been brutal - but my mood is still pretty high. I think the change in schedule, as well as the feeling I am accomplishing something (finally!) are really lifting me into the spring spirit. Well, it's 2:30 am. I think the well is dry - time to sleep and let it refill.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Finally writing
Got great feedback from Mr. Ips. on why the beginning of Sand Sifters doesn't work, but haven't been able to roll on it. The ol' imagination's been letting me down, I'm afraid.
I need a change. I've gotten to the point in my life where I know when my happiness isn't looking up, when it is intolerable to sit all afternoon and stare at a blank page, when I spend the entire day working on things but at the end of the day can't figure out what - I need to change my routine. Or my surroundings. Or something. I don't work well in a static environment. I need constant change to keep my brain sharp, to stoke my imagination. The past five years have actually been good for that - new house, new grounds, new friends, new accomplishments. Now things are settling into a routine and I am getting restless for some good change. But I like my house, my grounds and my friends.
Been having problems getting up in the morning. It might be a biorhythm thing. I've had this happen before where 3am feels like 11pm and 11am feels like 7am. Can't seem to roll out of bed until 10 - which makes the routine change a certainty. It's time to become a night owl. Stay up and write after Mr. Ips. goes to bed, and stay up until I'm too tired to do anymore - 2:30-3am. Doing this focuses my mind on simply writing - there is nothing else I can do while the Mr. is sleeping. No weeds to pull at midnight, can't do dishes or clean without making too much noise. Just me and my laptop creating images in the darkness.
Did this last night and managed to get pretty far on the prologue. The brain's images are much more vivid in a dark room with little external stimulus. Also started writing on The Illuminators - rewriting a bit as the writing I did last fall rather sucked, even if the idea shines in the dark. So, here I go again. While you are asleep and dreaming, I'll be wide awake and committing my dreams to paper.
I need a change. I've gotten to the point in my life where I know when my happiness isn't looking up, when it is intolerable to sit all afternoon and stare at a blank page, when I spend the entire day working on things but at the end of the day can't figure out what - I need to change my routine. Or my surroundings. Or something. I don't work well in a static environment. I need constant change to keep my brain sharp, to stoke my imagination. The past five years have actually been good for that - new house, new grounds, new friends, new accomplishments. Now things are settling into a routine and I am getting restless for some good change. But I like my house, my grounds and my friends.
Been having problems getting up in the morning. It might be a biorhythm thing. I've had this happen before where 3am feels like 11pm and 11am feels like 7am. Can't seem to roll out of bed until 10 - which makes the routine change a certainty. It's time to become a night owl. Stay up and write after Mr. Ips. goes to bed, and stay up until I'm too tired to do anymore - 2:30-3am. Doing this focuses my mind on simply writing - there is nothing else I can do while the Mr. is sleeping. No weeds to pull at midnight, can't do dishes or clean without making too much noise. Just me and my laptop creating images in the darkness.
Did this last night and managed to get pretty far on the prologue. The brain's images are much more vivid in a dark room with little external stimulus. Also started writing on The Illuminators - rewriting a bit as the writing I did last fall rather sucked, even if the idea shines in the dark. So, here I go again. While you are asleep and dreaming, I'll be wide awake and committing my dreams to paper.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Having a rough time
The depression is lingering this year, even with the warmer weather. I'm guessing that I get more physically active in the spring along with the warmer days - and with the severity of this hamstring injury I haven't been able to walk around or jog as I normally would.
The dullness of depression is taking its toll. I am worried about the book edits - worried I can't do them, will never make the grade, don't know my own writing enough to change it. I'm also freaking that my usually manic spring writing frenzy hasn't appeared. I sleep in later and later just trying to postpone having to get up to the monotony of the day.
I know I am lucky not to have a schedule I have to hop to - having all this time. But time can be a real enemy to a right brainer. My brain spins circles around itself and I start a million things in the day and at the end of the day realized I did nothing. I am a poor multi-tasker because I lose myself in one thing and totally lose track of what else I was doing (ask me sometime about the fountain I created out of the kitchen ceiling fan while attempting multi-tasking). I also have an intense attention span. Once triggered, I can get lost forever in what I am doing to the point of not even knowing there is a world outside of myself. Painting projects, home projects, writing projects - once the intensity is triggered I can do in days what would take another person weeks. And I don't do my best work at writing unless that intensity is triggered. Finding the trigger - now that is the puzzle. What makes me sit down and write 15 pages in an evening? What makes me do what I did today - sit and stare at the computer screen for three bloody hours while my imagination was AWOL? How can anyone understand me when I haven't a clue what makes me tick?
Of course, a week ago I couldn't even write this much in my blog - so I suppose the winter dam is unclogging in the river of my imagination.
Perhaps I need to set up a writing schedule that has both editing (and rewriting) The Sandsifters and writing on a second book (either The Illuminated or Sandsifter's sequel). Ugh, I can't make schedules! I never hold myself to them very well. Screw it all, I'm going to throw all my writing in the creek and go work at Krogers.
The dullness of depression is taking its toll. I am worried about the book edits - worried I can't do them, will never make the grade, don't know my own writing enough to change it. I'm also freaking that my usually manic spring writing frenzy hasn't appeared. I sleep in later and later just trying to postpone having to get up to the monotony of the day.
I know I am lucky not to have a schedule I have to hop to - having all this time. But time can be a real enemy to a right brainer. My brain spins circles around itself and I start a million things in the day and at the end of the day realized I did nothing. I am a poor multi-tasker because I lose myself in one thing and totally lose track of what else I was doing (ask me sometime about the fountain I created out of the kitchen ceiling fan while attempting multi-tasking). I also have an intense attention span. Once triggered, I can get lost forever in what I am doing to the point of not even knowing there is a world outside of myself. Painting projects, home projects, writing projects - once the intensity is triggered I can do in days what would take another person weeks. And I don't do my best work at writing unless that intensity is triggered. Finding the trigger - now that is the puzzle. What makes me sit down and write 15 pages in an evening? What makes me do what I did today - sit and stare at the computer screen for three bloody hours while my imagination was AWOL? How can anyone understand me when I haven't a clue what makes me tick?
Of course, a week ago I couldn't even write this much in my blog - so I suppose the winter dam is unclogging in the river of my imagination.
Perhaps I need to set up a writing schedule that has both editing (and rewriting) The Sandsifters and writing on a second book (either The Illuminated or Sandsifter's sequel). Ugh, I can't make schedules! I never hold myself to them very well. Screw it all, I'm going to throw all my writing in the creek and go work at Krogers.
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