It seems that everyone's grandparents or parents are in the hospital. My Grandma has never left and is on her fifth bout of pneumonia. Wonder if this will be the week.
But in other news, the MIL has arrived. Which is good because I'm not one of those people who like anticipation. I don't like knowing something is going to happen weeks in advance because I have way to much time to anticipate everything that could possibly go wrong. It seems she likes to make small talk in the morning. Good luck with that. And she can't close windows - had to make B. go in and do that in her bedroom. Why do you think that is? I've been trying to get in her brain to think of what fears she must have to call her son into a room and ask him to push windows closed. I would be incredibly embarrassed and ashamed if I had to do that. Does she think she'll wrench an arm or hurt her back? Somehow sprain a knee even though it is at chest level? Her psyche is a very alien place for someone who climbs on a roof to unclog gutters, lays tile, and gets rototillers for birthday presents.
My biggest question is - how much do I go along with the learned helpless act? Do I become an enabler out of politeness? Or am I permitted to let her know that I believe that she can do those small tasks she is afraid of and that I would appreciate if she would because it is not fair to ask me to take care of her when she is perfectly able-bodied. And she is you know - her body is perfectly functioning. Her weakness really is all in her mind. I have a feeling I'm going to have to sit her down at some point and very nicely let her know that these are things she can take care of and she needs to exert herself if she is ever going to have a fulfilling life. Hopefully that talk won't come until I am back from my sister's house. And preferably before July 26ht when I go in for Lasik - I am not taking care of stupid things while I recover from eye surgery.
Ugh, I hear her clomping around upstairs. I supposed I should go up and show her where the lunch items are kept.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
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1 comment:
I think this is one of the boundaries my mom was cautioning you to set from the get-go. She is not helpless. It is not your job to take care of her. She is a grown woman.
And, it is YOUR house.
Love,
Shameless
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