Monday, May 14, 2007
Still Searching
It was good, this past week - but difficult. My mother and I went up to my Grandpa's to get a little donkey and cart lawn figurine that was left to me when my Grandma died, but I left for Grandpa until he too passed away. We went into the back yard, and Grandpa's garden was full of weeds, grown over. He really is dead. If he weren't, the rich brown soil would be tilled, the tomatoes already set in cages, onions showing sprouts, asparagus picked and left to grow. And he would have been out there on that beautiful day, talking with Mom about what peppers he wanted, how Grandma's roses were doing, digging me some onions to plant in my garden. There is no going back. Time was not suspended in that little back yard so that Grandpa could plant his veggies one last time. The evil bitch of a neighbor had pulled up Grandma's roses and half the lilacs - so even those are gone. I wanted to firebomb her place and pour weed killer on her flowers, but settled for sending nasty karma her way. It's not enough, but will have to do.
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1 comment:
I remember feeling the same feelings of loss when I went back to see Doug's grandparent's house in VT. No flowers, no vegetables, nothing but dead stuff. And when I last went back to my Grandma's house.
It always amazes me how those feelings of loss can hit you in new ways, from new angles. Just when you thought you were feeling less sad -- POW!!
Love,
Shameless
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