Sunday was a guided meditation at Studio Om. There were two meditations, one seated, guided by a man who was a seminary student. The second was guided by Julia and was done in the savasana (or corpse, lying down) position using colors and the chakras.
The first brought to me the realization that what I needed most in my life was courage. When asked when I was wide open something I wanted above other things I said courage. Courage to live. Courage to face down friends and enemies to live a good life. Courage to do my work with an open heart. Courage.
The second told me that everything I need is right there in me - everything I need I already have, here in my body - I AM. Everything I need to do my writing, everything I need to live my life, everything I need to enjoy life again - it is already here, I just need to reconnect. It was such a shock. It was an opening of myself. I am. The outside forces are not, the expectations are not, the things people wish me to be and wish from me and think that I am - are not. Everything I need is already here, inside me - everything I want is already here, inside me - everything that works for me is already here inside me - look at this light inside me and know that I already am and recognize who and what I am and accept it for who it is. Because in spite of what others wish - I already am and that is something no one can change. Recognize it, namaste - the light in me greets the light in you, the goddess in me greets the goddess in you. The light is already there and I am. My understanding of courage preceded finding that I am. The courage is needed to keep coming back to that understanding, that groundedness and protect it from the people who want to push me off balance, from the people who don't understand that what they are has nothing to do with what I am. You can't shake I am, you can't compete with it, you can't beat it in any way. Any perceived victory over someone who is grounded in "I am" is nonsensical. Because in a stripped down truth - there is no ego to compete against, there is no "self improvement" there is no pettiness, there is no anger, there is no envy. There is love, there is compassion, there is understanding. I am. You are also. Namaste.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment